I often use the analogy in my coaching with assistants that we need "big match temperament" so what does this mean?
When a rugby or soccer player misses a kick they need to regroup as soon as possible to avoid more mistakes and missed chances. They need to get their head back in the game as quickly as possible to ensure the best result. This ability is immensely valuable in sport but also in life!
But what do most assistants do once they have made a mistake? They obsess about the mistake for days (who are we kidding...sometimes weeks), we feel that we have failed and thus we are a failure. This erodes confidence and creates a VERY unhelpful inner dialogue. The voice in your head then starts to create drama, havoc and intrigue where none originally existed.
By focusing on the mistake we often stress ourselves out and make even MORE mistakes. When instead, we can (AND SHOULD) do the following:
1. Own up to the mistake (no excuses and no blame)
2. FIX the mistake
3. Do a proper review of what led to the mistake
4. Formulate a plan of how we avoid making a similar error (once is a mistake, twice is a choice)
5. Gain the lesson and experience
6. GET BACK IN THE GAME AND FOCUS FORWARD
This process requires honesty, accountability and confidence.
REMEMBER : We are all human beings, we all make mistakes! In fact mistakes are proof that you are trying, doing and creating. Just look at how many failed attempts SpaceX had before they succeeded in their first rocket launch (AND LANDING) something everyone said could not be done!
Imagine what would have happened if the engineers sat down after the first attempt and said "well, that's it folks we failed"
Failure and mistakes don't feel good but it really is how we learn.
In a world where innovation will be valued we will need to learn to embrace painful learning through failure, embrace the discomfort and let go of the judgement, perfectionism and hateful inner dialogue, apply the experience and always face and focus forward!
So until next time
Hugs from DXB