What's holding you back?

There are things we want, things we richly deserve and opportunities which present, which we simply do not take.

Why? What is REALLY holding us back?

If you look back on 2017 you will no doubt have some unfinished business. A goal you only partially achieved (or not at all), an opportunity you did not take (and regret) or a project you started and did not complete. We tell ourselves things like; I got busy or I did not have enough...(insert your perceived lack here). While some of this may be true we are actually held back by deeper issues.

My hope is that by shining a light on these factors we can set the scene for 2018, making this our YEAR OF  GOAL ACHIEVING

1. Fear
This is in my opinion our biggest stumbling block. Fear has a purpose, our bodies are engineered to feel and respond to fear as it ensures the survival of the species. Fear is a primal and necessary driver but in the modern age it can hold us back from many magnificent things.

Fear manifests as the belief that we cannot do it, we don't deserve it, people will laugh at us. I should not stand out, I should not speak up. Fear can also present in a much more sly way, it can present as procrastination or what appears to be a lack of focus. Fear will create excuses, fear will erode confidence.

So how do we engage with fear?

• Feel it, acknowledge it and release it
• Think about how you really feel in the situation, not just what is on the surface.
• Analyse your limiting beliefs
• How do you speak to yourself? What are you saying?
• What self beliefs or limiting behaviors no longer serve you?
• Ask the question, am I stalling or am I scared?

2. Lack of self confidence
As adults the message has become so ingrained that you MUST NOT MAKE MISTAKES, if you do, you are a failure. But sadly this teaching has created people who innovate less, create less and have no self confidence. This is the little voice that holds you back from trying to do something in a new way or making a suggestion in a management meeting. It is the thing that holds you back from asking for help or feeling that you deserve the thing you are striving for. Critically for us this is also the factor that holds us back from new (and often great) opportunities. This is a big factor that sabotages your success.

Engaging with low confidence:

• Think about your past success
• Be aware of what you body is telling other people (and thereby yourself) [body language]
• Think about the worst case scenario (realise it will never get that bad)
• Confidence is not arrogance
• Accept that new and unique ideas have ALWAYS been laughed at. In fact Tony Robbins says "if they are not laughing at your goal, it is not big enough" https://www.tonyrobbins.com
• STRETCH yourself, your comfort zone is the thing that is really holding you back
• Try something new, take up a challenge or just change small things in your routine or your space. Challenge yourself, get UNCOMFORTABLE
• Start with a beginner mindset.
• Learn to play again, experiment and create (without judgement)
• Get clear on your best attributes and start using them to your advantage.
• Is your goal a punishment? Or does it excite and make you happy?

3. Lack of Resources
As a coach (who does a lot of work with clients on goal setting) I can tell you for free today that if you start the goal with needing resources, you will NEVER achieve it. If you focus on resources (you don't have) you automatically give away control to external forces and already set your excuses up for not doing the thing you really want.

Yes, some goals will require money, time or a solid network but you need to focus on what you can control which is your own resourcefulness.

Being Resourceful:

• It is not what you know but who you know
• Do your homework (someone has done it, why not learn what you can from their journey)
• Creating space for the positive often brings it into your life.
• Just start, start with what you have and start exactly where you are.
• Believe that the right things will come into your life at the right time (but hustle while you wait)

4. Lack of Focus, Motivation and Discipline
I love the Mel Robbin's Ted Talk in which she says "you need to parent yourself because you are NEVER going to feel like it" You are going to have to make it happen. It will not magically manifest without you doing the work. 

Getting it DONE!

• Set goals you feel emotional and passionate about
• Your goals and projects should excite you
• You must want it BADLY (not just sort of)
• Do something about your goal EVERY week
• Don't set more than 3 goals and focus on 6 months at time
• Remember that if it is important to you, you will find a way, if not you will find an excuse.

I really hope that these observations, thoughts and tips will help you during 2018 (OUR YEAR OF GOAL ACHIEVING) but feel free to get in touch if you need one on one coaching with your goals in 2018. This is my passion and I would really like to help you create the life and career you really want.

​WISHING YOU A VERY HAPPY





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So, until next time
HUGS FROM DXB

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