Yesterday, a Facebook memory popped up reminding me of my first European speaking event. It was only the second time I’d taken the stage internationally, and while I remember the excitement, the clearest memory from that time is how utterly intimidated I felt. My imposter syndrome was screaming in the lead-up to that event. So today, I wanted to share some thoughts because I know that, at one point or another, we all experience fear, doubt, and resistance, especially when faced with a big opportunity or challenge.

The truth is, the fear never really goes away. But there’s a crucial lesson I’ve learned that I want to pass on to you: saying yes is the first step. The cliché is true—do it scared, but do it anyway! Pushing through that barrier of fear doesn’t just help you conquer it for the moment; it elevates your threshold. The next time you face a similar challenge, the fear is smaller, and your confidence is higher.

As a Results-Based Coach for over a decade, one concept that has always resonated with me is the idea that discomfort is a sign of growth. Every time you feel that unease, it’s your brain expanding, creating new pathways, adapting to new situations. So, instead of backing away from discomfort, lean into it! It means you are levelling up, breaking new ground. 

I remember once running into a speaker I greatly admired during an event in Paris. I was in awe of her poise and experience. To my surprise, she candidly admitted how terrified she was just moments before going on stage. That vulnerability struck a chord with me and validated my own trembling nerves. Her fear didn’t make her less capable—it made her human. And here’s the real secret: we all experience imposter syndrome and fear, no matter how accomplished we are. It is what you make of the experience that creates your future! You have the choice to push through or back down...

Looking back at those early days, I can see how far I’ve come and how necessary those challenges were for my growth. The path wasn’t always straightforward, but each step was essential in shaping the person I am today.

So, if you’re facing a moment of doubt or feeling unsure about your next move, take the risk. Say yes to that opportunity you don’t feel ready for. It might just open doors that could change the entire course of your career—or even your life.

Don’t let that little voice keep you playing small. Stretch beyond your comfort zone, embrace the fear, and watch as you rise to the occasion. You’re more capable than you think, and your bravery will take you places you never imagined.

​On my recent training trip to Malaysia, the unthinkable happened—the airline lost my luggage. After almost 13 years of international travel it has only happened once before, but this time was a little different…..it happened on my way to an event!

Having survived it all, making plans, having conversations…..I realised that sometimes, the unexpected offers some of the best lessons, and that’s exactly what I took away from this little adventure.

Here’s what I learned when my luggage went AWOL:
 
1. You choose what to focus on.
When things go wrong, your first instinct might be frustration or anger, but here’s the thing—your focus determines how things play out. I could’ve time stressing over my missing luggage, but instead, I decided to focus on what I could do to move forward. Remember where focus goes….energy flows!

2. Make a plan.
Bad things happen, and they often catch you off guard. But here’s where your problem-solving skills really kick in. I had to make a plan on the fly—where to buy new clothes, how to manage without my usual things—but that’s where growth happens. The quicker you make a plan, the sooner you can get back on track.

3. Communication is key.
I cannot stress this enough— follow up and ask questions. I called, emailed, and followed up multiple times to get updates. I also made sure that the reception desk was on the look-out for my suitcase. The lesson? Rally the people around you and get them on your side. You’ll be surprised at how many people want to help and care about the outcome.

4. It’s not THAT bad!
It could have been worse. A lot worse. No one got hurt, and nothing irreplaceable was lost. I had to remind myself that this is not the end of the world. Sometimes, we blow things out of proportion when really, it’s just an inconvenience, not a crisis.

5. Focus on what you CAN control.
This was huge for me. I couldn’t control when (or if) my luggage would show up, but I could control my response and next steps. So, I focused on that. I handled what I could and let go of the rest, and it made the situation feel so much lighter.
 
6. People are incredibly kind.
I was blown away by the kindness of people. From giving me tips on where to shop for affordable replacements to helping me figure out what sizes would fit (which are totally different from South Africa!), I was reminded that people really do want to help. Sometimes, you just need to ask, accept that help and be grateful.
 
7. Always create redundancy.
This one is a practical tip— pack at least one outfit and your essentials in your hand luggage. I had one conference outfit, one casual outfit and a few personal care items with me, which saved me from a complete wardrobe meltdown. It’s always smart to prepare for the worst, just in case.
 
 8. Say thank you.
This sounds simple, but don’t forget to show gratitude to everyone who helps you along the way. A little “thank you” goes a long way and creates positive energy around you.
 
9. You are more than your outfit.
We can get caught up in appearances, but losing my luggage taught me that you are more than the clothes you wear. It made me focus on what I was there to DO! Your value doesn’t come from your outfit—it comes from what you bring to the table as a person.

10. Laugh when you feel like crying.
This one’s golden. Sometimes, when things go wrong, finding the humour in the situation is the best remedy and as a South African I am uniquely experienced in finding the funny side in EVERYTHING. Laugh, even when it feels like everything is falling apart, and suddenly, it all feels a bit lighter. When you choose to laugh, you shift the energy, and it becomes easier to find the silver lining.

So there you have it—ten unexpected lessons from a lost suitcase. Life has a funny way of teaching us exactly what we need to know, even when it’s not in the form we expect.
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Next time things go wrong, remember—focus on the lessons not just the challenge

As we approach the end of the year, a time when motivation can be in short supply, I thought it fitting to explore this topic together. 

What motivates you?
Is it the promise of external rewards/fears, or do you find your drive comes from within?

I firmly believe that sustainable motivation springs from internal sources. I am very interested in the brain and how people process as a Results Based Coach so I have done a bit of research over the years on motivation.

I would like to share the five types of intrinsic motivation:

1. Learning Motivation (Competence Motivation):
The sheer joy of learning propels this motivation. It's about the process of acquiring knowledge and  skills, an internal desire to expand one's understanding.

2. Attitude Motivation:
For example, if you find fulfilment in spreading positivity and making others feel good, you may be driven by attitude motivation. It's about cultivating a positive mindset and seeking activities that reflect this outlook.

3. Achievement Motivation:
Crossing the finish line becomes the primary focus here. It's not about external rewards but the intrinsic satisfaction derived from accomplishing a goal.

4. Creative Motivation:
Creativity becomes a powerful motivator. Whether through artistic expression, problem-solving, or innovation, the act of creation becomes a driving force.

5. Physiological Motivation:
Rooted in our basic biological needs, this motivation revolves around survival instincts. It's a reminder that our motivations are deeply embedded in our evolutionary history.

Did one of these catch your eye?
Was there one that you looked at and said to yourself ‘that’s me! 

Understanding our key drivers is crucial and can be a powerful tool that you can use for success.

Your driver can act as a lever,( a hack if you will) to lift you when you can't get going (and this time of the year, the struggle is very real)

Remember your motivation is not fixed and different days may call for different motivators. But by being aware and identifying the dominant motivational force at play, we can navigate challenges more effectively and stay on track. 

I hope that knowing the types of motivators provides you with the information to get proactive and take control of your intrinsic motivation. 

​You've got this!

As we find ourselves at the doorstep of the last quarter of 2023, it's an opportune moment to reflect on the time that's left and the incredible potential it holds. We have 101 days or 2,424 hours or14 weeks and 3 days left, which translates to roughly 27.67% of this year.

What are you going to do with it?

Consider this: What could you achieve in just 21 days, let alone 101 days from today? The journey from now until the end of the year is not only about setting goals but also about nurturing the habits and mindset that will propel you towards your desired outcomes and a better 2024.

So, let's start by asking ourselves a few crucial questions:

1. What habit do you want to establish for the final stretch of 2023?
2. What specific accomplishments do you want to achieve?
3. What experiences do you want to create for yourself?
4.How do you want to feel on the 31st of December 2023

It's not enough to merely define these objectives; the key lies in taking consistent, deliberate actions to make them a reality. 

One of the biggest pitfalls is that we self-sabotage because we don’t want to pick a focus area. Your pick doesn’t have to be the perfect one. It is not set in stone and you can realign at any time but do me a favour and JUST PICK SOMETHING….

By picking nothing you fall into the stream of other people’s goals, ambitions and outcomes, which frankly are seldom to your benefit.

For the final stretch of 2023, I want to encourage you to "Pick yourself" as Seth Godin always says 😊 By doing so, you take control of your path, ensuring that the last 101 days of 2023 are driven by your agenda, not someone else's.

The canvas of 2023 is not fully painted yet, and there's ample time to add those strokes that will make it a masterpiece. So, define your goals, take action, and upgrade yourself.
 
#UpgradeYourself 

Happy friday!!!!
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Today I want to remind you that your mindset determines the quality of your decisions, your stress levels, the state of many of your relationships and your general wellbeing.
As many of you are aware, South Africa is experiencing major energy issues with scheduled black outs as much as 8 hours a day over the last few weeks, making the normal day to day things you need to complete a real challenge.
I am writing this while listening to the now very familiar hum of my inverter.
And it got me thinking that it is not the lack of electricity, it is the low level, long term irritation and inconvenience. Having to do an evening meeting with solar lamps (looking like you are telling ghost stories by the camp fire), eating and preparing meals at odd times, not being able to wash your laundry when you want to. Weak wifi signal which could go down at any time...juggling client work so you can get everything done before the inevitable darkness returns.
Not massive things....just ongoing and relentless...
This week I watched an interview with a former engineer and now lecturer in the energy generation space and what was most interesting was NOT what he said about the power supply and infrastructure but what he said about mindset...and that got me thinking!
He said that we need to
1. Plan our day according to when energy is available - same goes for your own energy supply. Do the heavy lifting while you feel good.
2. Stop moaning, it won't change a single thing. In fact it will make it MUCH harder to address or accept the problem.
3. Do your research and make better plans - it is not your resources, it's your resourcefulness
4. You do not need to always throw money at the problem, infact sometimes that is the least efficient solution and the laziest
I am sharing these today because they are also great pearls of wisdom for life in general.
So, my challenge, my call to action today is, no matter what minor inconvenience or major challenge is stressing you out right now, take a moment to think about your thinking...
·      Are you in the victim space?
·      Are you resigned that it is, what it is?
·      Are you just exhausted from struggling for so long?
·      Does every small stress erode your happiness just a little more?
What do you need to refill your cup? How do you build the resilience you need to keep going? What should you be telling yourself about this situation?
I can't answer these questions for you but I can answer them for myself, but I wanted to prompt you on these as we proceed into the weekend. My focus, I want to spend time with people I care about, I want to have a good belly laugh and be in the sunshine - that is just the tonic for me! Let me know what works for you!
Master your mindset and the rest will become much easier to manage!
The winning starts within. 

Today, I wanted to chat to you about learning...
I want to start by asking, are you a good learner?

• Are you open minded? 
• Willing to make mistakes and try again?
• Able to deal with the discomfort of new information?
• Happy to be challenged, in your way of thinking?
• Empowered to explore and curious?
• Use every engagement, conversation and tit bit that comes your way as a teaching moment?

In the future the successful 'learners', the active learners will thrive, in fact it has already been identified as one of the Top Skills for 2025. So I urge you not only to think about learning in terms of formal development but as a daily opportunity wherever you find yourself.
THE BIG DON'TS
1. Do not only develop for your skill deficits, look at your top skill and how you can boost it to the next level. Great careers are built on your areas of excellence so put in the work there too
2. Do not try to attend everything! Fomo with all the training events and conferences can get overwhelming. Be decerning and think about the value you are looking for
3. Do not make your development, someone else’s job - it is not your exec or HRs responsibility - it's called PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT for a reason
4. Do not buy into the myth that training has to cost money - there are literally a bazillion free resources online, your investment is the time!
5. Do not take for granted that you are getting management training FOR FREE, by virtue of your role and proximity to the management teams.
4. Do not get into the mindset of 'there is nothing left to learn' - that is NOT the world we live in anymore!!!
Being able to learn and develop will be one of the most essential elements in evolving our profession and your role in it, for the future. It will help us find specialisations, areas where we can add additional value and help us deal with challenge and change!
“We now accept the fact that learning is a lifelong process of keeping abreast of change. And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn.” — Peter Drucker
So remember - First you learn and then you earn!
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When we are confronted with negative feedback our gut instinct is to feel hurt and defensive. So how do we cope with this in a mature and constructive way?

1. Remove your ego.

2. Ask yourself is the feedback valid?

3. Taste and opinions differ so you won't always get things 100% right, newsflash you are not psychic, and you are not a machine! Stop and think about what the person is asking you, what they want and why they want it? ASK MORE QUESTIONS AND TRY AGAIN

4. Remember that constructive feedback gives you something to work on (an important factor for anyone who wants to keep improving)

5. ALSO remember that there is a difference between constructive feedback and criticism. Be discerning enough to know the difference and choose what to take onboard.

6. Monitor your emotions - the other person is expressing what they need, not trying to break you down or tell you that you are not good enough. Take feedback in the spirit it is given and don't take it personally. It is about a specific piece of work, not about you as a human being
​
7. REMEMBER you cannot be all things to all people and that is ok! Know when to move on if you need to!

Take the feedback, use it as fuel to improve or as a signpost to make a change - either way you WIN!
We are all human, we make mistakes and get the brief wrong - that is not a deal breaker, the deal breaker is when we think we are too clever to learn or too perfect to improve. If you create, if you innovate, you will fail from time to time but remember either you win or you learn!
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Have a wonderful week and please remember to check out The Assistant Lab, a new podcast that I am hosting with my colleague and dear friend Victoria Wratten of EPAA https://theassistantlab.buzzsprout.com/ we would really appreciate your support!

Today I wanted to talk to you about choices.

Not all the choices I have made have worked out, not all of them served me or made sense to others but they are MINE!

Sometimes there is no perfect choice, only the one you can live with, and avoiding the choice is one in itself, you then have to deal with the status quo or the choice that somebody else makes for you. Which is significantly worse (most of the time)
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We all face tough decisions, cross-roads, detours and times when we need to reinvent or change trajectory. The most powerful thing you can do is be decisive, practical in your approach and not look back with regret. Do not delay, do not see the choice as a loss of another opportunity. Don't get stalled in life because you don't want to make the call between option one and two!

EVERY choice you have made has brought you to where you are NOW!

Don't like where you are? There is great news....you have the power to make better choices from today to get you to where you really want to be.

Each choice comes with unexpected impacts on your life but also unexpected blessings. Wishing you could go back and do one thing differently would have a ripple effect on everything else (the butterfly effect), so stop looking back to that one incident, that one bad decision, the choice you made when you didn't know any better.

Be present, think about what you want your future to look like and create the habits to support that future vision.
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Your next step doesn't need to be a big one, you just need to start with the next smallest step, the next smallest choice and be consistent.