As a trainer and coach I have been lucky enough to work with assistants all over the world and recently it dawned on me that we have one very significant problem facing us as a profession. And it is not the rapid advancement of technology, job security, economic shifts or artificial intelligence. It is confidence! As a group, assistants are generally talented, intelligent and resourceful. They can deal with high stress levels and intense demands. They manage on-going interruptions and a very high volume of information (flooding in via electronic communication) without a decline in the quality of their work. They are creative, reliable, loyal, have higher than average emotional intelligence and are able to build strong relationships with ease. So in other words, assistants are the perfect employee for the Fourth Industrial Age. So why, oh why, are we still underrated, under-utilised and more importantly underpaid? The only logical conclusion for me is the lack of confidence I see and feel in the assistants I meet and this is the same whether I am in the US or Uganda. How does this manifest? Not being able to speak up when they need to, feeling like shining a light on their performance or achievements is bragging, always focussed on making others look good (without ever getting credit) and trying desperately to blend in and not to draw any attention to themselves. They are also often thrown under the bus by other employees and feel that it is wrong for them to fight back. It is being fearful and afraid of new opportunities and losing out on grand adventures. Confidence impacts a few important aspects of your life and your career 1.How the role is perceived in your office and the business world A wonderful friend of mine once told me that we teach others how to treat us. So, how have we taught our peers, teams and the business to treat us? Worth pondering, but on the whole we have allowed behaviour towards us that most other groups of employees simply would not have tolerated. People on the whole respond well to self-respect and self-confidence. When you display these attributes you are treated differently. Respect cannot be demanded but is earned and owned. 2.The way your brand is experienced by others If you are too timid or you don’t highlight your special skills or accomplishments, others simply do not take you seriously or don’t actually know how valuable you are and what you bring to the table. Big brands are worth the big bucks! 3.What people are willing to pay you I have only ever met a handful of assistants (less than a dozen since 2009) who have asked for a raise or negotiated a starting salary. Men tend to be much more assertive in this regard (according to global research) and the inability to have these discussions tends to aggravate the gender pay gap (in my humble opinion). We need to ask for and negotiate for what we want (and deserve) with confidence so that we can be compensated appropriately. 4.Being successful at interviews It is a fact that the more confidently (not arrogantly or aggressively) you present yourself in an interview the more likely you are to be hired. This is even truer for an assistant, who is the face of the office and often the first contact with important visitors or callers. 5.The opportunities that you will have access to or be approached for Confidence has layers: what other people see and what you feel. What matters here is how confident you feel. Tough or challenging experiences in your life (that stretch you beyond your comfort zone) will greatly enhance your confidence level. You will be more likely to be brave and accept the next opportunity, but also come across as more confident to others. This will draw more exciting prospects towards you. A bit of bravery will change the course of your life forever. This is like a muscle so start small but keep stretching beyond that comfort zone. Your comfort zone is what is making you feel bored and stuck. 6.Your inner dialogue & Imposter syndrome What you say to yourself matters! Our inner dialogue can be one of the most damaging conversations we can ever have. It is full of negativity and limiting beliefs. I often wonder how long we would be friends with someone who spoke to us like we do to ourselves. This is a hard cycle to break but is probably the most important starting point if you want to increase your confidence. So how do we fix it? When you start talking to yourself in this way ….STOP! Reflect on these thoughts (often we already know that they are harsh and untrue) replace them with something neutral or (if at all possible) with something positive. Keep at it and it will become easier and your inner dialogue will be less limiting. Don’t try to push this voice away, just observe it and bring awareness to it. By tuning in mindfully you can change the story you are telling yourself which will change how you feel. Imposter syndrome is another common ailment. It is that feeling like we have NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE DOING and SOMEONE IS GOING TO FIND OUT SOON! Well, the good news is that no one else knows what they are doing either; no one has this figured out. Each one of us is just doing the best we can so relax! 7.How much your natural fear limits you Our brains are designed to be fearful. It is what has ensured the survival of the human race. But not all fear serves us. When you are nervous about something or you feel challenged it is often because you are learning or being required to stretch beyond what is comfortable and this is almost ALWAYS a good thing. So instead of backing away from those feelings try stepping into it. Often it guides you to something bigger and more exciting. How do we build confidence? a.Your body does not know the difference (so start by faking it) Neuroscientists have proven that when you put a fake smile on your face or even put a pencil between your top and bottom row of teeth and keep it there for less than a minute your body will give of the matching hormones and will change your mood accordingly (as if you were really happy) So, as Amy Cuddy put it “Fake it until you become it”. Create confident body language, practise sounding confident and it will eventually come naturally. b.Be aware of your posture and your voice Ask someone (who spends a lot of time with you) to watch your body language. Focussing on your posture, what you do with your hands when you get nervous and what you sound like. Start creating the picture you want others to see. This has a MASSIVE impact on how people experience you so bring awareness to this for big results. c.Commit to and work at your craft Work on your “thing”, become the best at what you do. Make mistakes but keep learning and take your development seriously. All of this turns into skill and depth of experience which in turn makes us feel confident and competent. d.Surround yourself with supportive people We truly become the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Pick your tribe wisely. Research has shown that negativity is as contagious as the common cold, and I am sure that lack of confidence is too. Surround yourself with people who want you to win and in turn be a cheerleader for them. The world has enough critics and haters! e.Learn that fear is very often to your benefit and challenge is not always bad I love the saying “It doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you”. It is what we make of our circumstances which shapes our futures. So step into those uncomfortable situations. They often lead you to magical people and places. In conclusion, it is my sincere wish that each of you reading this realises how special you are. You are a once-off. There is something special that you need to do in this world. Don’t settle! Stretch, fly and create confidence in those around you as from today. It matters!!
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Our society glorifies busy, lack of sleep, MATERIAL THINGS and distraction. We are bombarded with more information and digital communication than we can possibly manage. Our working days (and our family time) is punctuated with the incessant pings and bleeps of smartphones. And if you do find yourself just taking it easy you feel almost instant guilt, surely there is something I SHOULD be doing! Time goes FAST....New Year's Eve feels like it was five minutes ago and yet we are already at the end of the first week in March, (and my husband and I are very close to our first year in Dubai) it is crazy! The pace of life is absolutely frenetic! This got me thinking. Am I present in my own life? Am I showing up for myself and the people who need me? Does my routine serve me and my family? Do I repeat the same week over and over and call it a life? Do I have the same problems I had last year? I loved the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off (I know that it totally gives away my age) and my favourite quote from the movie was this "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it." So this month I have challenged myself (and I hope you will join me) to: 1. Be aware of my daily routine, notice things and be in the moment 2. Spend more time in the real world with real people and make them a priority 3. Really pay attention to my emotions, my body and my relationships 4. Examine my relationships, who brings negativity and drama into my space? And start to manage this. 5. Turn small tasks into little rituals and ENJOY them 6. Savour things 7. Find time to be. Creating space for ideas and inspirations to find me while I am still 8. Manage distractions 9. Stop worrying about the future or living in the past. 10. Be more grateful and live with less! So this is my homework for this month but I hope that by sharing these ideas with you that you will explore them and find some sanity, clarity and quiet too! So until next time HUGS FROM DXB This blog was originally created at the request of Office Dynamics, for more great articles from them please visit https://officedynamics.com/blog/ What is holding your brand back? Well that is a big question! Personally I think what is holding us back from powerful, successful and valuable brands is the same thing that holds us back from fulfilling careers and happy lives. That is a big statement but here goes! I think it is the inability to speak up, trying to fit in, not being able to decide and FOCUS, believing we don’t deserve it (whatever “IT” is for you), lack of self-discipline and confidence. So let’s run the list down: 1.Speaking up The old saying goes “if you don’t ask, the answer is always no” so many things in the world just get swept under the carpet, so many opportunities go to waste because we are unable to speak truth to power or make ourselves heard. How many times have you sat in a management meeting and had the most phenomenal idea (but you said nothing), well, I rest my case. If you want a strong brand you will need to find your voice. Start small, but start now! 2.Fitting in The Industrial Age wanted us to fit in and be interchangeable because our offices were a factory, a big machine and if you were too special or different you were not replaceable. Remember that in the 4th Industrial Age people will pay more for special, unique and different. The artists and problem solvers will thrive (the people who do “human work” and creative work) they will pay for art but not for painting. So the challenge is to let go of this old wiring of being the same and fitting in. It will not serve you in the future. One of the most tragic things people say to me once I start working with them on brand is that if they make these radical changes/improvements their team members (most specifically other PAs) will notice and be judgemental (thinking they are trying to suck up to or impress the boss). To me this speaks to a lack of team cohesion, insecurity (on their part) and a low performance culture. Remember that it is your career and they don’t pay your bills. So do what you need to do to create the life you really deserve. Don’t let the critics slow you down. Cream floats to the top, always and without exception! 3.Indecision and lack of focus and action What do you really want? It is a big question, and for most of us an open ended one because we don’t want to commit and make a decision. We happily float along in the grey area which has become our comfort zone. I could change things, improve things but that would require hard work, dealing with resistance and challenge. So instead of doing what is important, we stay in the “urgent & too busy zone” when it comes to focus areas and priorities. Is it any wonder that so many of us feel stuck and uninspired? Are you living the same day, every day? 4.Not feeling deserving I am not special, why should this happen or work out for me? Why should I get the promotion or the praise? Well, if you don’t believe you are good enough, no one else will either. This is an inside job and REAL work needs to be done on correcting and improving our inner dialogues. No one can fix this except you. 5.No self-discipline Doing the work requires discipline. Standing out from the crowd and excelling requires you to do things, create habits and keep hours that few others would agree to or be able to maintain. This is what separates the good from the GREAT! What is YOUR STANDARD? What do you require from yourself? I am not asking you to strive for perfection but to focus on excellence, quality and good value for money. I am asking you to do the hard work because the results are worth it! Self-discipline is not for reward or recognition, it is about YOU, your goals and ambitions! 6.Low or no confidence Your brand cannot thrive until you can cure yourself from imposter syndrome and from that voice in your head that mistakes assertiveness and confidence for rudeness and arrogance.
My challenge to you is to break out and break free from these factors. You have unlimited potential, you were born into genius and it is time to escape from mediocre! Build a brand that earns you more money, more respect, more opportunities and creates more impact in the world and in your life. Be brave and walk TALL. Anel Martin is a former awarding winning administrative assistant from South Africa (now based in Dubai) who now works as a full time trainer and Results Based Coach. Her goal is to help assistants to find their voices and their confidence. She is a published author and the book is titled “The Executive Secretary Guide to Building a powerful personal brand” https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1539535576/ visit her website for more free resources, information and services www.anelmartin.co.za One of the key facets of branding in careers is reputation. What is your reputation and how does one build on it? One’s level of professionalism is a vital piece of that puzzle and working in an office environment is not the sole measure of defining professionalism. Here are three benchmarks that help establish professionalism. 1. Punctuality Is the staff member on time for work, on time with deliverables? 2. Quality Is the work quality consistent and high-level? 3. Collaboration Is the staff member easy to work alongside? Are communications direct, clear, and delivered in a timely fashion? These benchmarks apply to administrative professionals as much, or more so than all other staff. Here are three additional ways you can boost your level of professionalism 1. Attire. Like it or not, appearance does matter. Doing our best means wearing clothes that have no tears, missing buttons and so on. Making certain that our wardrobe is workplace appropriate in terms of modesty and fit. 2. Manners Take the time to not only say, “Please” and “Thank you” but, to acknowledge the assistance or contributions of others to your success. Be sure your gratitude is genuine. No one respects a phony. It can be as simple as a post-it ‘thank you’ note left on a peer’s desk. 3. Pay It Forward Did you learn something new at a recent conference or meeting? Or, happen to come across a fantastic tip on pivot tables in Excel on social media? Or, learn about a free webinar? Then, share it! Share this knowledge with your team or mention it during a lunch break. Pay it forward. You will begin to gain a reputation as go-to resource for learning new things! While there are hundreds of books on building careers and thriving in the workplace, not a great percentage of these spend time evaluating the career value of professionalism. Invest in building upon this unheralded foundation of establishing your reputation and building upon your career. Kem Foley is the talent behind Admin Renegade, she is an inspirational, down to earth and funny lady. I would recommend that you follow her blog, connected with her on Twitter @officerenegade She is presenting at Executive Secretary Live in London on one of my favourite topics and that is storytelling and let me assure you, she is one of the very best in the business. Not to be missed! Hear from Kem in her own words This blog was originally created at the request of Office Dynamics, for more great articles from Office Dynamics please visit http://officedynamics.com/blog/ You know that awkward moment in the interview when they ask you about your areas of excellence, or that moment you need to introduce yourself to someone new at a business networking event (and your response sounds a bit rehearsed) or you run into the CEO in the elevator and she wants to know who you are and what you do at the company. If you have ever felt vulnerable or embarrassed in these situations you need a Brand Story and Part two of this series is just for you! So what is a brand story? Well, it is like an elevator pitch, just not as robotic or plastic! It is a true story about your talents and gifts. It is something that can be recited at will without rehearsal because it is TRUE and comes from your heart! So let’s get practical. Step 1 Make a list of what you are really good at/recent achievements (at least 10) I am being literal here, so write down your areas of excellence and recent successes. Doing this on paper or on your laptop takes it out of your head and makes it more concrete. Step 2 Stuck? That is totally normal. Time to consult with a friend or colleague It is funny (but maybe sad) that I have done this exercise with hundreds of assistants from across the world and writing down their strengths is a major challenge, but on the flip side you can ask them about their development or problem areas and they can give you two dozen without missing a beat. If you are stuck, just know that this is normal. The solution is to consult with a trusted friend or colleague to help you compile your list. This is very useful because they might mention things you have not even thought about and also help you do a reality check on your existing list. The key is to be open to the feedback. Step 3 Trim down the list to 6 (but NOT less than 4) Go through the list and pick your top 6. Trim it down for maximum impact. Eliminate similar skills or merge items that can be grouped logically. Step 4 Rank from 1 to 6 (1 being best) As the title suggests look at your list and prioritise. Again the help of a trusted advisor will be valuable if you are unsure. Step 5 Write a concise, strong, short and clear one liner about this skill Do a one liner for each of the 6 skills/abilities. Keep it simple and direct (research has proven that people will rate you are more intelligent if you use simple language, so don’t try and be too fancy) Avoid clichés like I am an excellent team player, I work well without supervision, I am a perfectionist. All of these things may be true but if you can’t find a more original way of expressing the same idea then please omit it altogether. EXAMPLE OF A BRAND STORY
Test drive your brand story. Does it feel real? Would you be embarrassed to tell someone your brand story, if yes, it needs more work. It should be true, it should be natural and easy to articulate. Get feedback from others once you are ready to share. Use your brand story to update your cv, Linkedin or to position yourself for the next opportunity that comes your way. This is a very powerful tool to “sell” your brand in an authentic way and I hope that you find these tips useful. If you have questions or problems with creating your brand story you are welcome to reach out to me via my Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/PA-20-Upgrade-Yourself-530299150373650/ or Twitter @anelmartin I am always happy to help! Anel Martin is a former awarding winning administrative assistant from South Africa (now based in Dubai) who now works as a full time trainer and Results Based Coach. Her goal is to help assistants to find their voices and their confidence. She is a published author and the book is titled “The Executive Secretary Guide to Building a powerful personal brand” https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1539535576/ visit her website for more free resources, information and services www.anelmartin.co.za It happens to all of us, you go through a day, a week (or sometimes longer) when you are simply not feeling it. This lack of motivation and enthusiasm can be caused by various factors but here are some common causes:
Life happens, it gets us down but we can't stay in this space and the sooner we get ourselves back on track the better. So how can we reboot our mojo? There are some incredibly simple hacks that can help you get focused and back in the game. 1. Relax, take a time out, go for a walk. Distance from the problem and a bit of breathing room will definitely help, every time - no exceptions! Make time to chill especially when you feel you can least afford it because that is when you need it. 2. Get active, get your heart pumping. Cortisol and adrenaline build up is bad for you and exercise helps you burn these off (the natural and logical use for your fight or flight hormones) 3. Find perspective, ask yourself questions like "will this matter in five years", "what is the worst thing that can happen", "how do I approach this differently", "what can I resolve, what must I accept", "what am I not seeing about the situation" "what behaviour will they not expect from me" and "what can I do to shake things up" 4. Think about a time that you were in a flow state (when you enjoy a task so much you have no sense of time and you did the task with ease and enthusiasm) HOW DO WE CREATE MORE FLOW? HOW DO I BRING FLOW TO WORK? 5. Be grateful. Gratitude fixes so many things 6. Monitor your inner dialogue and avoid negative words and thoughts. Negativity will create and attract more negativity. This is very hard you will fall into this trap but reset and try again, do not wallow. 7. Procrastination is literally having your mojo for breakfast. Make a list of what needs to be done, do the most distasteful, challenging items FIRST. By doing the yucky stuff (like minutes) first you free up the rest of the day without the guilt of the items you have been putting off. Procrastination eats your joy, your confidence and your energy. 8. Get ORGANISED and START MAKING PLANS - by taking charge, making decisions and taking action you can move yourself from where you are to where you want to be. By blaming others or treading water you are accepting your current situation and you have chosen to be a victim. Choice is powerful, action even more so! 8. How you sleep really matters. If you don't feel energetic and well rested you will be much more vulnerable to stress, less creative and resilient. IF YOU HAVE SLEEP ISSUES YOU NEED TO LOOK INTO IT! 9. Have some fun, change your routine, try something new, learn something! 10. Focus on creating connections with people. Say hello to people or simply smile. Reach out to that friend you have been meaning to call since last week. Send your mother some flowers! 11. Volunteer, step up, accept a challenge, do something you don't think you can do - your comfort zone is what keeps you stuck. If it scares you a little you should really consider trying it out! I really hope that these tips will help you as much as they have helped me. Find the love again this Feb. Get excited about your life, have some adventures! And may the Mojo be with you! So until next time HUGS FROM DXB This blog was originally created at the request of Office Dynamics For more great articles from Office Dynamics please visit https://officedynamics.com/blog/ “Your brand is what other people say about you when you're not in the room” – Jeff Bezos. I have to thank Jeff, as I have not found a better way to explain personal brands in all the years I have been exploring the subject. There are a few things we need to understand (from my point of view and experience) when it comes to brand:
6.A powerful brand relies on confidence (not to be confused with arrogance) So how do we authentically enhance our brand value? B –Build skill sets The working world has changed so much in the last few years and will continue to do so. In fact the prediction is that in 5 years’ time, only 15% of what you know right now will still be relevant. So, continuous development is not a “nice to have” but a survival strategy. Development no longer has to cost money; there are tons of free resources available. It will now require time, discipline and commitment. We also need to be aware that in the future there will be more focus on what we called “soft skills” a few years ago (as it will be assumed that you already have the technical ability) [See WEF Top 10 Skills for 2020 - https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2016/01/the-10-skills-you-need-to-thrive-in-the-fourth-industrial-revolution/) so take that into account when planning your development. We have also just entered the Connection Economy (check out Seth Godin’s video for more information about this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKXZgTzEyWY) which will bring radical shifts in the way we work and connect with others. Creating new skills sets and being able to apply them with generosity and enthusiasm will definitely give you the edge. R – Reputation management When we look at reputation management we need to think about how we communicate (in the real world and online), the standard of work we consistently produce, our ethics, how organised and punctual we are and most importantly OUR attitude. It is not what you do on the days you feel good that determines your reputation; it is what you do daily. The small activities, words and actions accumulate to form the picture. The old saying goes “Hard work beats talent, when talent does not work hard” These are major factors that influence not only our own brands but also the co-brand that we have with our manager/s, but that is a blog for another day. A – Authenticity No one likes a fake; it is true no matter where you go in the world. A truly amazing brand cannot be a projection, imitation or a mirage. It is ok to talk a good game but you MUST be able to back it up with consistent action. Find your own voice, your own unique talents and contributions and bring them into your work. Don’t be a copy. People pay good money for originals, not cheap knock-offs. N- Network In our roles “who you know” is extremely important. Having a strong, reliable network helps you solve problems, find opportunities, grow relationships and organically enhances your brand (IF YOU ARE ADDING VALUE TO YOUR NETWORK). Networking should be done online (there is a very dynamic, active and diverse group of assistants online from across the globe and it is easy to plug into these groups via LinkedIn or Facebook) but importantly, networking should also be done in the real world. Take time to attend events, speak to people you have not met before in the office (even just a friendly greeting will do) and take opportunities to grow your circle. Your network = your net worth, it doesn’t matter how great you are if no one knows about you. I am not encouraging you to brag but to be confident and to OWN IT! D – Dependability A brand is nothing if you are not consistent. Being phenomenal today and poor tomorrow doesn’t serve you, as you are not dependable and you are therefore eroding trust. If you can’t be a star everyday then pick a level you are comfortable with and stay in that zone until you are ready to level up. This applies to work that you produce; commitments made and kept, communication, your personal appearance and emotional intelligence. If you are wondering how healthy your current brand is please feel free to do the FREE Brand Health Assessment at http://www.anelmartin.co.za/brand-health-assessment.html There are things we want, things we richly deserve and opportunities which present, which we simply do not take. Why? What is REALLY holding us back? If you look back on 2017 you will no doubt have some unfinished business. A goal you only partially achieved (or not at all), an opportunity you did not take (and regret) or a project you started and did not complete. We tell ourselves things like; I got busy or I did not have enough...(insert your perceived lack here). While some of this may be true we are actually held back by deeper issues. My hope is that by shining a light on these factors we can set the scene for 2018, making this our YEAR OF GOAL ACHIEVING 1. Fear This is in my opinion our biggest stumbling block. Fear has a purpose, our bodies are engineered to feel and respond to fear as it ensures the survival of the species. Fear is a primal and necessary driver but in the modern age it can hold us back from many magnificent things. Fear manifests as the belief that we cannot do it, we don't deserve it, people will laugh at us. I should not stand out, I should not speak up. Fear can also present in a much more sly way, it can present as procrastination or what appears to be a lack of focus. Fear will create excuses, fear will erode confidence. So how do we engage with fear?
2. Lack of self confidence As adults the message has become so ingrained that you MUST NOT MAKE MISTAKES, if you do, you are a failure. But sadly this teaching has created people who innovate less, create less and have no self confidence. This is the little voice that holds you back from trying to do something in a new way or making a suggestion in a management meeting. It is the thing that holds you back from asking for help or feeling that you deserve the thing you are striving for. Critically for us this is also the factor that holds us back from new (and often great) opportunities. This is a big factor that sabotages your success. Engaging with low confidence:
3. Lack of Resources As a coach (who does a lot of work with clients on goal setting) I can tell you for free today that if you start the goal with needing resources, you will NEVER achieve it. If you focus on resources (you don't have) you automatically give away control to external forces and already set your excuses up for not doing the thing you really want. Yes, some goals will require money, time or a solid network but you need to focus on what you can control which is your own resourcefulness. Being Resourceful:
4. Lack of Focus, Motivation and Discipline I love the Mel Robbin's Ted Talk in which she says "you need to parent yourself because you are NEVER going to feel like it" You are going to have to make it happen. It will not magically manifest without you doing the work. Getting it DONE!
I really hope that these observations, thoughts and tips will help you during 2018 (OUR YEAR OF GOAL ACHIEVING) but feel free to get in touch if you need one on one coaching with your goals in 2018. This is my passion and I would really like to help you create the life and career you really want. WISHING YOU A VERY HAPPY So, until next time HUGS FROM DXB |
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