Why do we feel demotivated?

Sometimes it is as simple as the time of the year, the weather, being ill or not being able to take a break. We also feel demotivated and stuck if we are playing it too safe or feel under utilized. This gives us the sense that each day is much the same as the former. Our routine and our comfort zones can also contribute to this feeling of boredom.

If we reflect on our habits we can see what no longer serves us. Habits equal results. Changing habits however requires real emotional strength which to me, is beyond just simply being motivated. Is motivation a total lie? Sometimes I think so! The things we really "should" do for our health, finances, career or relationships are usually HARD. I completely agree with Mel Robbins that we need to parent ourselves and this parenting requires discipline more than motivation. 

So what are our main tools to maintain motivation and create better results?

1. Improve your self talk
2. Stop making excuses and giving yourself a free pass
​3. Focus on self care, if you feel good you will be able to produce better outcome
4. Be aware of and manage the effects of stress and fatigue. 
5. When you are ill, take time off
6. Celebrate and savour the small joys in your life
7. Digital detox - social media can create feelings of overwhelm or negative comparisons
8. Be aware that learning or trying anything new will make you feel uncomfortable
9. Failure is not bad, just ensure you are failing forward and that you learn from each experience
10. Be grateful. Gratitude attracts positive people, new opportunities and GOOD STUFF to you

So what steps can you take to get back on track for the next few months so you can finish the year strong?

• Have a strat session with yourself : what do you still want to achieve this year? It is NOT too late
• What requires work in your life right now?
• Keep it simple, don't try to change/do too many things.
  
• What one small change can you make that will have a huge impact in the next 6 months?
• Get really clear on what you want, get visual (vision board or visual reminder of the goal) and get excited!
• Give yourself a Pep talk
• Take a few moments in the morning to get focused for the day
• In the evening review the day and celebrate the success, review the challenges and what you learnt.

I am on a personal journey with this at the moment and wanted to share these observations and tips with you. Hope this helps to kick start your motivation again. I hope that this inspires you to stretch and go for that goal! I believe in you so go and make magic! 

Hugs from DXB
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This blog was created originally for the Platinum Assistant Network South Africa. I would highly recommend that you register as a member or attend their events. 

It is mid-year, the time of the year where we traditionally experience a loss of energy, motivation and enthusiasm. The weather, workload and stress can all be contributing factors.  So how do you get out of your funk and reboot for the next six months so that we can finish the year STRONG?

1. Get organised

Clutter, bad time management and being unorganised creates stress in your life. Take some time to get focused and prepared.  Get up earlier, put things in their place, tidy up, plan ahead for your week on a Sunday; meals and wardrobe options and most importantly make and work on your To-Do list.
 

1. Gratitude

Having an attitude of gratitude often helps us overcome hardship. Being focused on what you do have, what you love in your life and what you cherish will make you more resilient over time and keep you positive.
 

1. Self-care

Being kind to yourself, taking time out when you are not well or tired is essential. You need to get enough sleep, exercise and improve your diet to increase your vitality. Get some sun, take some extra vitamin c. Have fun, make art, play and laugh!
 

1. Get perspective

Often we beat ourselves up about mistakes (even very small ones); we create drama, take things personally or over react. We worry and over analyse things in our lives.  The real question we need to ask is “what really matters in my life”, “will this matter in five years’ time” and “am I using my energy productively”. These questions will help you gain perspective. Making mistakes is part of the process if you are innovating and creating so don’t be so hard on yourself. Forget about perfect, instead strive for excellence.
 

1. Do something different

Changing your routine even in a small way can refresh you. So try a food you have never tried before, explore a new hobby, make some new friends. Break out of your comfort zone. Some things you will really enjoy, some stuff you will hate but it will all be new.

I hope that these tips help you achieve and thrive for the next six months. Wishing you power and energy for the rest of 2018.

#upgradeyourself

As a trainer and coach I have been lucky enough to work with assistants all over the world and recently it dawned on me that we have one very significant problem facing us as a profession. And it is not the rapid advancement of technology, job security, economic shifts or artificial intelligence. It is confidence!
As a group, assistants are generally talented, intelligent and resourceful. They can deal with high stress levels and intense demands. They manage on-going interruptions and a very high volume of information (flooding in via electronic communication) without a decline in the quality of their work.
They are creative, reliable, loyal, have higher than average emotional intelligence and are able to build strong relationships with ease. So in other words, assistants are the perfect employee for the Fourth Industrial Age. So why, oh why, are we still underrated, under-utilised  and more importantly underpaid?
The only logical conclusion for me is the lack of confidence I see and feel in the assistants I meet and this is the same whether I am in the US or Uganda.
How does this manifest?
Not being able to speak up when they need to, feeling like shining a light on their performance or achievements is bragging, always focussed on making others look good (without ever getting credit) and trying desperately to blend in and not to draw any attention to themselves. They are also often thrown under the bus by other employees and feel that it is wrong for them to fight back. It is being fearful and afraid of new opportunities and losing out on grand adventures.
Confidence impacts a few important aspects of your life and your career
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1.How the role is perceived in your office and the business world
A wonderful friend of mine once told me that we teach others how to treat us. So, how have we taught our peers, teams and the business to treat us? Worth pondering, but on the whole we have allowed behaviour towards us that most other groups of employees simply would not have tolerated. People on the whole respond well to self-respect and self-confidence. When you display these attributes you are treated differently. Respect cannot be demanded but is earned and owned.
 
2.The way your brand is experienced by others
If you are too timid or you don’t highlight your special skills or accomplishments, others simply do not take you seriously or don’t actually know how valuable you are and what you bring to the table. Big brands are worth the big bucks!
 
3.What people are willing to pay you
I have only ever met a handful of assistants (less than a dozen since 2009) who have asked for a raise or negotiated a starting salary. Men tend to be much more assertive in this regard (according to global research) and the inability to have these discussions tends to aggravate the gender pay gap (in my humble opinion). We need to ask for and negotiate for what we want (and deserve) with confidence so that we can be compensated appropriately.
 
4.Being successful at interviews
It is a fact that the more confidently (not arrogantly or aggressively) you present yourself in an interview the more likely you are to be hired. This is even truer for an assistant, who is the face of the office and often the first contact with important visitors or callers.
 
5.The opportunities that you will have access to or be approached for
Confidence has layers:  what other people see and what you feel. What matters here is how confident you feel. Tough or challenging experiences in your life (that stretch you beyond your comfort zone) will greatly enhance your confidence level. You will be more likely to be brave and accept the next opportunity, but also come across as more confident to others. This will draw more exciting prospects towards you. A bit of bravery will change the course of your life forever. This is like a muscle so start small but keep stretching beyond that comfort zone. Your comfort zone is what is making you feel bored and stuck.
 
6.Your inner dialogue & Imposter syndrome
What you say to yourself matters! Our inner dialogue can be one of the most damaging conversations we can ever have. It is full of negativity and limiting beliefs. I often wonder how long we would be friends with someone who spoke to us like we do to ourselves. This is a hard cycle to break but is probably the most important starting point if you want to increase your confidence.
 
So how do we fix it?
When you start talking to yourself in this way ….STOP! Reflect on these thoughts (often we already know that they are harsh and untrue) replace them with something neutral or (if at all possible) with something positive.  Keep at it and it will become easier and your inner dialogue will be less limiting. Don’t try to push this voice away, just observe it and bring awareness to it. By tuning in mindfully you can change the story you are telling yourself which will change how you feel.
 
Imposter syndrome is another common ailment. It is that feeling like we have NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE DOING and SOMEONE IS GOING TO FIND OUT SOON! Well, the good news is that no one else knows what they are doing either; no one has this figured out. Each one of us is just doing the best we can so relax!
 
7.How much your natural fear limits you
Our brains are designed to be fearful. It is what has ensured the survival of the human race. But not all fear serves us. When you are nervous about something or you feel challenged it is often because you are learning or being required to stretch beyond what is comfortable and this is almost ALWAYS a good thing.
 
So instead of backing away from those feelings try stepping into it. Often it guides you to something bigger and more exciting.
How do we build confidence?
a.Your body does not know the difference (so start by faking it)
Neuroscientists have proven that when you put a fake smile on your face or even put a pencil between your top and bottom row of teeth and keep it there for less than a minute your body will give of the matching hormones and will change your mood accordingly (as if you were really happy) So, as Amy Cuddy put it “Fake it until you become it”. Create confident body language, practise sounding confident and it will eventually come naturally.
 
b.Be aware of your posture and your voice
Ask someone (who spends a lot of time with you) to watch your body language. Focussing on your posture, what you do with your hands when you get nervous and what you sound like. Start creating the picture you want others to see. This has a MASSIVE impact on how people experience you so bring awareness to this for big results.
 
c.Commit to and work at your craft
Work on your “thing”, become the best at what you do. Make mistakes but keep learning and take your development seriously. All of this turns into skill and depth of experience which in turn makes us feel confident and competent.
 
d.Surround yourself with supportive people
We truly become the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Pick your tribe wisely. Research has shown that negativity is as contagious as the common cold, and I am sure that lack of confidence is too. Surround yourself with people who want you to win and in turn be a cheerleader for them. The world has enough critics and haters!
 
e.Learn that fear is very often to your benefit and challenge is not always bad
I love the saying “It doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you”. It is what we make of our circumstances which shapes our futures. So step into those uncomfortable situations. They often lead you to magical people and places.
 
In conclusion, it is my sincere wish that each of you reading this realises how special you are. You are a once-off. There is something special that you need to do in this world. Don’t settle! Stretch, fly and create confidence in those around you as from today. It matters!!

Our society glorifies busy, lack of sleep, MATERIAL THINGS and distraction. We are bombarded with more information and digital communication than we can possibly manage. Our working days (and our family time) is punctuated with the incessant pings and bleeps of smartphones. And if you do find yourself just taking it easy you feel almost instant guilt, surely there is something I SHOULD be doing!

Time goes FAST....New Year's Eve feels like it was five minutes ago and yet we are already at the end of the first week in March, (and my husband and I are very close to our first year in Dubai) it is crazy! The pace of life is absolutely frenetic!

​This got me thinking. Am I present in my own life? Am I showing up for myself and the people who need me? Does my routine serve me and my family? Do I repeat the same week over and over and call it a life? Do I have the same problems I had last year?
​

I loved the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off (I know that it totally gives away my age) and my favourite quote from the movie was this "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it."

So this month I have challenged myself (and I hope you will join me) to:



1. Be aware of my daily routine, notice things and be in the moment
2. Spend more time in the real world with real people and make them a priority
3. Really pay attention to my emotions, my body and my relationships
4. Examine my relationships, who brings negativity and drama into my space? And start to manage this.
5. Turn small tasks into little rituals and ENJOY them
6. Savour things
7. Find time to be. Creating space for ideas and inspirations to find me while I am still
8. Manage distractions
9. Stop worrying about the future or living in the past.
10. Be more grateful and live with less!

So this is my homework for this month but I hope that by sharing these ideas with you that you will explore them and find some sanity, clarity and quiet too!

So until next time
HUGS FROM DXB

​This blog was originally created at the request of Office Dynamics, for more great articles from them please visit https://officedynamics.com/blog/
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​What is holding your brand back?

Well that is a big question!

Personally I think what is holding us back from powerful, successful and valuable brands is the same thing that holds us back from fulfilling careers and happy lives. That is a big statement but here goes! I think it is the inability to speak up, trying to fit in, not being able to decide and FOCUS, believing we don’t  deserve it (whatever “IT” is for you), lack of self-discipline and confidence.

So let’s run the list down:

1.Speaking up
The old saying goes “if you don’t ask, the answer is always no” so many things in the world just get swept under the carpet, so many opportunities go to waste because we are unable to speak truth to power or make ourselves heard. How many times have you sat in a management meeting and had the most phenomenal idea (but you said nothing), well, I rest my case. If you want a strong brand you will need to find your voice. Start small, but start now!
 
2.Fitting in
The Industrial Age wanted us to fit in and be interchangeable because our offices were a factory, a big machine and if you were too special or different you were not replaceable. Remember that in the 4th Industrial Age people will pay more for special, unique and different. The artists and problem solvers will thrive (the people who do “human work” and creative work) they will pay for art but not for painting. So the challenge is to let go of this old wiring of being the same and fitting in. It will not serve you in the future.
 
One of the most tragic things people say to me once I start working with them on brand is that if they make these radical changes/improvements their team members (most specifically other PAs) will notice and be judgemental (thinking they are trying to suck up to or impress the boss). To me this speaks to a lack of team cohesion, insecurity (on their part) and a low performance culture. Remember that it is your career and they don’t pay your bills. So do what you need to do to create the life you really deserve. Don’t let the critics slow you down. Cream floats to the top, always and without exception!
 
3.Indecision and lack of focus and action
What do you really want? It is a big question, and for most of us an open ended one because we don’t want to commit and make a decision. We happily float along in the grey area which has become our comfort zone. I could change things, improve things but that would require hard work, dealing with resistance and challenge.  So instead of doing what is important, we stay in the “urgent & too busy zone” when it comes to focus areas and priorities. Is it any wonder that so many of us feel stuck and uninspired? Are you living the same day, every day?
 
4.Not feeling deserving
I am not special, why should this happen or work out for me? Why should I get the promotion or the praise? Well, if you don’t believe you are good enough, no one else will either. This is an inside job and REAL work needs to be done on correcting and improving our inner dialogues. No one can fix this except you.
 
5.No self-discipline
Doing the work requires discipline. Standing out from the crowd and excelling requires you to do things, create habits and keep hours that few others would agree to or be able to maintain. This is what separates the good from the GREAT! What is YOUR STANDARD? What do you require from yourself? I am not asking you to strive for perfection but to focus on excellence, quality and good value for money. I am asking you to do the hard work because the results are worth it! Self-discipline is not for reward or recognition, it is about YOU, your goals and ambitions!

6.Low or no confidence
Your brand cannot thrive until you can cure yourself from imposter syndrome and from that voice in your head that mistakes assertiveness and confidence for rudeness and arrogance.

• Learn to say no.
• Learn to respect yourself
• You are LIMITED EDITION – OWN IT!
• You only get one chance to do this, there are no do overs
• What is the worst thing that could happen? Keep asking yourself that!
• That voice in your head is a broadcast from behind enemy lines – tune OUT
• Learn to look after yourself physically and emotionally

My challenge to you is to break out and break free from these factors. You have unlimited potential, you were born into genius and it is time to escape from mediocre! Build a brand that earns you more money, more respect, more opportunities and creates more impact in the world and in your life. Be brave and walk TALL.

Anel Martin is a former awarding winning administrative assistant from South Africa (now based in Dubai) who now works as a full time trainer and Results Based Coach. Her goal is to help assistants to find their voices and their confidence. She is a published author and the book is titled “The Executive Secretary Guide to Building a powerful personal brand” https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1539535576/ visit her website for more free resources, information and services www.anelmartin.co.za
 

One of the key facets of branding in careers is reputation. What is your reputation and how does one build on it?
 
One’s level of professionalism is a vital piece of that puzzle and working in an office environment is not the sole measure of defining professionalism.
 


Here are three benchmarks that help establish professionalism.
 
1. Punctuality
    Is the staff member on time for work, on time with deliverables?

2. Quality
    Is the work quality consistent and high-level?

3. Collaboration
    Is the staff member easy to work alongside? Are communications direct, clear, and delivered in a        timely fashion?
 
These benchmarks apply to administrative professionals as much, or more so than all other staff.
 
Here are three additional ways you can boost your level of professionalism
 
1. Attire.
   Like it or not, appearance does matter. Doing our best means wearing clothes that have no tears,         missing buttons and so on. Making certain that our wardrobe is workplace appropriate in terms of       modesty and fit.
 
2. Manners
  Take the time to not only say, “Please” and “Thank you” but, to acknowledge the assistance or              contributions of others to your success. Be sure your gratitude is genuine. No one respects a phony.    It can be as simple as a post-it ‘thank you’ note left on a peer’s desk.
 
3. Pay It Forward
  Did you learn something new at a recent conference or meeting? Or, happen to come across a            fantastic tip on pivot tables in Excel on social media? Or, learn about a free webinar? Then, share it!    Share this knowledge with your team or mention it during a lunch break. Pay it forward. You will          begin to gain a reputation as go-to resource for learning new things!
 
While there are hundreds of books on building careers and thriving in the workplace, not a great percentage of these spend time evaluating the career value of professionalism. Invest in building upon this unheralded foundation of establishing your reputation and building upon your career.
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 Kem Foley is the talent behind Admin Renegade, she is an inspirational, down to earth and funny lady. I would recommend that you follow her blog, connected with her on Twitter @officerenegade

She is presenting at Executive Secretary Live in London on one of my favourite topics and that is storytelling and let me assure you, she is one of the very best in the business. Not to be missed! 

Hear from Kem in her own words 

This blog was originally created at the request of Office Dynamics, for more great articles from Office Dynamics please visit http://officedynamics.com/blog/



You know that awkward moment in the interview when they ask you about your areas of excellence, or that moment you need to introduce yourself to someone new at a business networking event (and your response sounds a bit rehearsed) or you run into the CEO in the elevator and she wants to know who you are and what you do at the company.
If you have ever felt vulnerable or embarrassed in these situations you need a Brand Story and Part two of this series is just for you!

So what is a brand story?
Well, it is like an elevator pitch, just not as robotic or plastic! It is a true story about your talents and gifts. It is something that can be recited at will without rehearsal because it is TRUE and comes from your heart!

So let’s get practical.

Step 1 Make a list of what you are really good at/recent achievements (at least 10)
I am being literal here, so write down your areas of excellence and recent successes. Doing this on paper or on your laptop takes it out of your head and makes it more concrete.

Step 2 Stuck? That is totally normal. Time to consult with a friend or colleague
It is funny (but maybe sad) that I have done this exercise with hundreds of assistants from across the world and writing down their strengths is a major challenge, but on the flip side you can ask them about their development or problem areas and they can give you two dozen without missing a beat. If you are stuck, just know that this is normal.
The solution is to consult with a trusted friend or colleague to help you compile your list. This is very useful because they might mention things you have not even thought about and also help you do a reality check on your existing list.
The key is to be open to the feedback.

Step 3 Trim down the list to 6 (but NOT less than 4)
Go through the list and pick your top 6. Trim it down for maximum impact. Eliminate similar skills or merge items that can be grouped logically.

Step 4 Rank from 1 to 6 (1 being best)
As the title suggests look at your list and prioritise. Again the help of a trusted advisor will be valuable if you are unsure.

Step 5 Write a concise, strong, short and clear one liner about this skill
Do a one liner for each of the 6 skills/abilities. Keep it simple and direct (research has proven that people will rate you are more intelligent if you use simple language, so don’t try and be too fancy)
Avoid clichés like I am an excellent team player, I work well without supervision, I am a perfectionist. All of these things may be true but if you can’t find a more original way of expressing the same idea then please omit it altogether.

EXAMPLE OF A BRAND STORY

1. If I commit, I deliver
2. I am not shy and I take big risks
3. I am a connector of people and ideas
4. I have passion
5. I am kind and enjoy people
6. I am a time management expert and I get things done.

Step 6 Test this Brand Story on yourself and your inner circle
Test drive your brand story. Does it feel real? Would you be embarrassed to tell someone your brand story, if yes, it needs more work.
It should be true, it should be natural and easy to articulate. Get feedback from others once you are ready to share.

Use your brand story to update your cv, Linkedin or to position yourself for the next opportunity that comes your way. This is a very powerful tool to “sell” your brand in an authentic way and I hope that you find these tips useful.

If you have questions or problems with creating your brand story you are welcome to reach out to me via my Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/PA-20-Upgrade-Yourself-530299150373650/ or Twitter @anelmartin I am always happy to help!
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Anel Martin is a former awarding winning administrative assistant from South Africa (now based in Dubai) who now works as a full time trainer and Results Based Coach. Her goal is to help assistants to find their voices and their confidence. She is a published author and the book is titled “The Executive Secretary Guide to Building a powerful personal brand” https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1539535576/ visit her website for more free resources, information and services www.anelmartin.co.za
 

It happens to all of us, you go through a day, a week (or sometimes longer) when you are simply not feeling it. This lack of motivation and enthusiasm can be caused by various factors but here are some common causes:

• Feeling bored or stuck in our routine
• Not feeling that our work adds value
• Feeling that, what we do is not appreciated
• Stress (often ongoing and chronic)
• Unrealistic expectations and heavy workload
• Too much change and instability
• Being in the wrong job or company
• Bullying or difficult relationships
• Illness
• Problems at home/with family
• Financial issues

Life happens, it gets us down but we can't stay in this space and the sooner we get ourselves back on track the better.

So how can we reboot our mojo? There are some incredibly simple hacks that can help you get focused and back in the game.

1. Relax, take a time out, go for a walk. Distance from the problem and a bit of breathing room will definitely help, every time - no exceptions! Make time to chill especially when you feel you can least afford it because that is when you need it.

2. Get active, get your heart pumping. Cortisol and adrenaline build up is bad for you and exercise helps you burn these off (the natural and logical use for your fight or flight hormones)

3. Find perspective, ask yourself questions like "will this matter in five years", "what is the worst thing that can happen", "how do I approach this differently", "what can I resolve, what must I accept", "what am I not seeing about the situation" "what behaviour will they not expect from me" and "what can I do to shake things up"

4. Think about a time that you were in a flow state (when you enjoy a task so much you have no sense of time and you did the task with ease and enthusiasm) HOW DO WE CREATE MORE FLOW? HOW DO I BRING FLOW TO WORK?

5. Be grateful. Gratitude fixes so many things

6. Monitor your inner dialogue and avoid negative words and thoughts. Negativity will create and attract more negativity. This is very hard you will fall into this trap but reset and try again, do not wallow. 

7. Procrastination is literally having your mojo for breakfast. Make a list of what needs to be done, do the most distasteful, challenging items FIRST. By doing the yucky stuff (like minutes) first you free up the rest of the day without the guilt of the items you have been putting off. Procrastination eats your joy, your confidence and your energy. 

8. Get ORGANISED and START MAKING PLANS - by taking charge, making decisions and taking action you can move yourself from where you are to where you want to be. By blaming others or treading water you are accepting your current situation and you have chosen to be a victim. Choice is powerful, action even more so! 

8. How you sleep really matters. If you don't feel energetic and well rested you will be much more vulnerable to stress, less creative and resilient. IF YOU HAVE SLEEP ISSUES YOU NEED TO LOOK INTO IT!

9. Have some fun, change your routine, try something new, learn something! 

10. Focus on creating connections with people. Say hello to people or simply smile. Reach out to that friend you have been meaning to call since last week. Send your mother some flowers!

11. Volunteer, step up, accept a challenge, do something you don't think you can do - your comfort zone is what keeps you stuck. If it scares you a little you should really consider trying it out!

I really hope that these tips will help you as much as they have helped me. Find the love again this Feb. Get excited about your life, have some adventures!

And may the Mojo be with you!

So until next time
​HUGS FROM DXB